


deja vu

by WreakingHavok



Series: DreamSMP Canon Studies [8]
Category: DreamSMP
Genre: Angst, Brief animal death, Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Gen, Guilt, Hannah | Hannahxxrose-Centric, Implied/Referenced Torture, Iron Golem Hybrid Hannahxxrose, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam | Awesamdude-Centric, the egg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29982717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WreakingHavok/pseuds/WreakingHavok
Summary: Sam’s not a cowardly man by nature. Far from it, he’d say. He’s powerful, smart, capable. He’s faced more life threatening situations than he has fingers to count them on, he’s the Warden of the prison, for Prime’s sake.But right now, he’safraid.Hannah is still talking to Bad and Ant, gesturing with a frustrated tightness to her eyes. Sam isn’t listening. All he can hear is his own heartbeat, all he can taste is blood - his arm pricks through with phantom pains, he’s shaking, threatening to crash all six foot nine of him to the floor.Oh, Prime. Please, no.~Hannah Rose is confident she can fix the problems the Egg has caused.Sam may as well have trapped her there himself.
Relationships: Hannah | Hannahxxrose & Sam | Awesamdude, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: DreamSMP Canon Studies [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099253
Comments: 23
Kudos: 90
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	deja vu

**Author's Note:**

> TW: brief animal death, references to Sam’s time with the egg, nausea, references to Tommy being dead, Sam panics about the trauma from his time with the Egg

Hannah Rose murders her dogs without blinking once.

Sam should feel sick, he thinks, at the sudden slaughter. The dogs whine as she runs them through, then they don’t make any noise - Hannah picks them up carefully, walks towards the window, showing them respect in the way she carefully drops their bodies in her flowerbeds by the house. They will help her roses grow. This is the most she can offer them.

They were contaminated, so she said. She didn’t hesitate. Sam thinks that is something he could stand to learn.

Hannah straightens, sheathing her sword back into the green vines looped around her waist. It drips blood onto her pink wood floors. “There.”

Sam should feel sick. Sam does feel sick. 

But not for the dogs, no - Sam’s attention is focused solely on Bad and Ant, who stand ramrod straight in the doorway to Hannah’s home.

Ant almost looks distressed. It’s the first hint of an emotion Sam’s seen on his face in months. 

Bad clears his throat. “Well, Hannah, you - you’re certainly determined.”

Hannah smiles, and a strand of hair falls into her eyes. She plucks a rose from her body and uses it to pin the flyaways behind her ear. “Thank you. Is there something you needed, or are you just stopping by?”

Bad’s mouth turns up into a grin, lips peeling back to show his fangs. It looks unnatural on him. Sam remembers a conversation, long ago, where Bad admitted he wasn’t very fond of showing his teeth. 

Antfrost’s tail flicks at his legs, curling around his ankle restlessly. “We wondered how you were getting along with your gift.”

Hannah’s snort ends in a scoff and a point to the ceiling. “You mean the vines?”

Bad nods, pleased with himself. “We know you love plants.”

Sam can see that Hannah wants to admonish them. He’s thinking the same thing - _this is not a plant_ \- but he clears his throat under the pretense of coughing and Hannah’s hand snaps back to her side. 

Bad and Ant are dangerous. Hannah can’t afford to catch their attention. 

“Yes,” she grits, monotone. A rose blooms protectively over the small of her back. Sam watches it, feeling no safer. “I love plants. My roses keep me alive, actually, and I couldn’t help but notice your - the vines killed many of them while I was gone.”

“Aw,” Bad simpers, “the vines are much better than your roses, Hannah! Surely you can feel that.”

“I...can feel them, yeah,” Hannah says. “They don’t feel good.”

Bad looks surprised. “They don’t? What do you mean?”

“They made me sick, even from ten thousand blocks away! I could barely get home! I need the roses, not a plant that tries to murder me!”

Ant gestures at the mess of her interior, frowning. Sam can see the pieces clicking together in his head. “Were you trying to get rid of it, Hannah?”

_Uh oh._

“She’s, uh, allergic,” Sam offers, stepping forward on shaking legs. Bad and Ant turn to him with matching smiles. It strikes something cold through his chest. 

Bad laughs. “Impossible! The Egg is hypo-allergenic.”

Sam’s surprised he had that ready. “You - how do you know?”

Bad’s eye twitches. It’s only a millisecond, but it deepens the growing pit of unease in Sam’s stomach even wider. “We did tests,” he says, short.

Sam doesn’t think that line of questioning is safe to keep going down. 

Thankfully, Hannah steps back in. “We were just trimming it back. Not getting rid of it. I need the space, and I need to be, you know - _not sick_.”

“I know,” Ant says, clapping his paws together. “You should come look at the Egg, Hannah! Maybe you’ll feel better when you see the real thing.”

Sam’s breath catches in his throat. 

_What?_

“Ooo, that’s a great idea!” Bad nods vigorously. “The Egg would _love_ to meet you.”

_No._

He’s not a cowardly man by nature. Far from it, he’d say. He’s powerful, smart, capable. He’s faced more life threatening situations than he has fingers to count them on, he’s the Warden of the prison, for Prime’s sake.

But right now, he’s _afraid_. 

Hannah is still talking to them, gesturing with a frustrated tightness to her eyes. Sam isn’t listening. All he can hear is his own heartbeat, all he can taste is blood - his arm pricks through with phantom pains, he’s shaking, threatening to crash all six foot nine of him to the floor.

_Oh, Prime. Please, no._

“Sam? Sam!” It’s Hannah. She’s closed the front door to Bad and Ant, but he can see their figures through the window, waiting. 

“No,” he says - it barely comes out. He breathes in, desperately, tries again - “No, Hannah.”

She looks confused. “Are you okay?”

He shakes his head. “I, um - sorry. What -”

“They invited me to go see it,” Hannah says, nonchalant. “I’m gonna do it.”

Sam feels himself turning even more green than usual. She has no idea what she’s getting into. “You - it’s a bad place, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Was that the wind? Or was that a voice? Sam feels like he’s breaking apart. 

Hannah laughs, picking a flower from her wrist. “I’ve got my roses. How bad can it be?”

Sam laughs with her, so loud she looks startled and takes a step back. “Pretty bad, Hannah.”

She won’t die, he thinks wildly - it’s not like he’s abandoning her to die, not this time. She might never be the same, but she won’t - he isn’t -

He will not go back there. Oh, Prime - he _cannot_ go back there.

She clicks her teeth together, schooling her face into something more serious. “Look, Sam, I know this thing - I know how sick it made me, even from so far away, but - I think, maybe, I can do something to help it. To fix it.”

There’s nothing. There’s nothing. Nothing she can do. The Egg is powerful, more powerful than the gods, more -

What is he thinking? 

Prime, he - what is he thinking?

“Sam.” Hannah waves her hand in front of his face. “You’re mumbling.”

He meets her eyes - red, gold-speckled, naive - tries to convey the fear crawling up his spine and setting fire to his nerves with his own. 

She just looks even more determined. Nothing he could say would change that. 

“I can’t go with you,” Sam mumbles, ashamed. “I can’t go back there. I can’t go with you.”

She doesn’t look surprised. “That’s okay. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Sam interrupts her before she can make a promise she won’t keep. “I’ll - I’ll clear the rest of this away.”

She smiles, turning to open the door again. “Thanks, Sam. You’re a good friend.” 

Sam hasn’t been a good friend in a very long time. A good friend would never have let it get this far.

“Hannah,” he calls to her. “Be careful. Please.”

“I’ll be fine,” she reassures. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

Then she’s gone.

Sam lets himself go in pieces, systematically bending his legs under him, bracing himself against the floor with blistered hands. 

He’s a coward. Ranboo was right. 

Hannah Rose is not coming back, and he knew that, and he let her go alone, he -

_He screams until he has no voice. He cries until he has no tears left. He starves until he doesn’t. He is alone, he is surrounded, and he can’t think about anything besides the pain and the voice stabbing through his head -_

There’s still time to chase them. There’s still time to rescue her, or try, at least. 

Sam doesn’t move. 

He cannot go back there. 

Tommy, he thinks, was simple. He has something outward to blame. He can attribute it to Dream, to the rules, hell - that line of thinking can lead to anyone, anywhere. Tommy was simple. This is no one’s fault but his own. 

Maybe it always has been.

Sam gets up, eventually, as the sun starts to set. He cleans and burns the rest of the vines. He plants more flowers. He buries the dogs, the cow, the bee. 

The flowers have already withered by the time he’s done shoveling. Hannah Rose does not come back.

So. Sam goes home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hannah Rose my beloved, I - 
> 
> This is short, but I hope you enjoyed! I was enthralled by her character, and the recent lore plus Sam’s lovely and painful voice acting spurred me to crank this out in under an hour. Have mercy please do not judge me too harshly <3 
> 
> Drop a comment if you are so inclined! I love to hear from y’all :]


End file.
